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One Simple Way to Get Over a Traumatic Breakup and Move on

Category: LOVE ADVICE Published: Monday, 28 January 2019 Written by Life Coach Efosa Emovon


Love Advice


Not long ago, a young man who invested all he had in a business venture went bankrupt and was faced with hardship. The thought of suicide dominated his mind when his wife of three years left him for a friend of his who just bought a supercar.

When some of his good neighbors found out he was contemplating placing a rope on his neck to end it all, they advised him to seek for help. In short, the day he came to my office for counseling, I saw a man who had lost all his reasons to live.

It was glaring there was nothing standing between him and the rope on the ceiling. I hate to see people in such a mood so I resolved to know what was biting him.

After waving him to a chair, I studied him for a while and asked a simple question, “Sir, how can I help you,” he bowed his head in thought it was clear he was still finding it hard to believe what has happened to him.

To cut long story short, after he finished narrating his ordeal I asked him this question, “Is this why you are acting as if the world has come to an end?” In response, he stirred at me in such a way that reveals he was wondering if he was at the right place.

“Yes,” I raised my voice, “I will understand a little if you tell me the reason you consider yourself not fit to live again is because of losing your money, but I will understand nothing if you tell me it is because of your wife that left you for your rich friend.”

At this point he shifted to the edge of the chair, he was curious to know where I was driving at. “If it is because of your wife that left you, in your trying times it means you don’t know the meaning of love; in short, you entered what you know nothing of, sorry I am sounding this way,” I said to him.

Did you know friends acquired after you become a top manager or a CEO are suspect? Who is a true friend? A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

A people choose their leader during their trying times because it is easier to identify one in such a time. Leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and George Washington became a road that people followed during such a time.

The grim truth is if you know what love truly means you won’t stay in a relationship where you have become a punching bag, If you know the meaning of the four letter word called “Love” you won’t keep following a man or a woman blindly that treat you like dirt.

In fact, you will be the last person on planet earth to feel hurt because someone who does not deserve your love left you. Why waste your precious time and energy beating yourself over someone that does not know your worth?

The truth is it is difficult if not impossible not to go bankrupt when you are in a relationship with such a person. I told the gentleman, “I am sorry; but your problem is you don’t know what is good for you.”

A woman that left you because you went bankrupt is too blind to see the good in you. In fact, such a person is fatal to your dream and future because there is no way she can bring out the best in you.

Anybody that cannot bring out the best in you will bring out the worst in you. Now you can easily understand why many musicians we use to dance to their tunes went into oblivion after they got married.

“Scientists spent years and even put their lives on the line trying to discover something have you ever seen or heard of a scientist crying or beating himself after discovering it? He shook his head in response, “Then why do you want to hang yourself because you discover your wife is not the right person for you?”

At this point, he bowed his head in thought and I gave him time to ponder on my question. A few minutes later, I was no longer seeing the mournful look on his face. I could see that he was feeling much better.

When he paid me another visit a week later, I almost mistake him for someone else because he was so filled with a smile that it was impossible for me to think he was the same man that came to my office the other day.

He confessed to me that after pondering on my question over and over again he came to the realization that he was supposed to be celebrating and not beating himself for seeing the true color of someone he had been living with for three years. “I didn’t know I was living with a snake all this while. Only God knows what she was doing at my back all those times.

In fact, going bankrupt was a blessing in disguise because if I didn’t go broke she would have stayed and maybe start having kids that are not mine. I thank God she left; I can now search for the love of my life."

One of the reasons many people find it hard to let go and move on after a traumatic break up is that they don’t do this one thing listed below:

. Take time in evaluating the situation The major reason adduced for beating up ourselves after a traumatic break up is that we don’t sit down to evaluate the situation.

What I simply did to help that man regain back his happy mood was to make him evaluate the situation. By evaluating it he was able to see the truth in it. And of course, the truth set him free.

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