One Simple Way to Get Over a Traumatic Breakup and Move on

Category: LOVE ADVICE Published: Monday, 28 January 2019 Written by Life Coach Efosa Emovon


Love Advice


Not long ago, a young man who invested all he had in a business venture went bankrupt and was faced with hardship. The thought of suicide dominated his mind when his wife of three years left him for a friend of his who just bought a supercar.

When some of his good neighbors found out he was contemplating placing a rope on his neck to end it all, they advised him to seek for help. In short, the day he came to my office for counseling, I saw a man who had lost all his reasons to live.

It was glaring there was nothing standing between him and the rope on the ceiling. I hate to see people in such a mood so I resolved to know what was biting him.

After waving him to a chair, I studied him for a while and asked a simple question, “Sir, how can I help you,” he bowed his head in thought it was clear he was still finding it hard to believe what has happened to him.

To cut long story short, after he finished narrating his ordeal I asked him this question, “Is this why you are acting as if the world has come to an end?” In response, he stirred at me in such a way that reveals he was wondering if he was at the right place.

“Yes,” I raised my voice, “I will understand a little if you tell me the reason you consider yourself not fit to live again is because of losing your money, but I will understand nothing if you tell me it is because of your wife that left you for your rich friend.”

At this point he shifted to the edge of the chair, he was curious to know where I was driving at. “If it is because of your wife that left you, in your trying times it means you don’t know the meaning of love; in short, you entered what you know nothing of, sorry I am sounding this way,” I said to him.

Did you know friends acquired after you become a top manager or a CEO are suspect? Who is a true friend? A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

A people choose their leader during their trying times because it is easier to identify one in such a time. Leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and George Washington became a road that people followed during such a time.

The grim truth is if you know what love truly means you won’t stay in a relationship where you have become a punching bag, If you know the meaning of the four letter word called “Love” you won’t keep following a man or a woman blindly that treat you like dirt.

In fact, you will be the last person on planet earth to feel hurt because someone who does not deserve your love left you. Why waste your precious time and energy beating yourself over someone that does not know your worth?

The truth is it is difficult if not impossible not to go bankrupt when you are in a relationship with such a person. I told the gentleman, “I am sorry; but your problem is you don’t know what is good for you.”

A woman that left you because you went bankrupt is too blind to see the good in you. In fact, such a person is fatal to your dream and future because there is no way she can bring out the best in you.

Anybody that cannot bring out the best in you will bring out the worst in you. Now you can easily understand why many musicians we use to dance to their tunes went into oblivion after they got married.

“Scientists spent years and even put their lives on the line trying to discover something have you ever seen or heard of a scientist crying or beating himself after discovering it? He shook his head in response, “Then why do you want to hang yourself because you discover your wife is not the right person for you?”

At this point, he bowed his head in thought and I gave him time to ponder on my question. A few minutes later, I was no longer seeing the mournful look on his face. I could see that he was feeling much better.

When he paid me another visit a week later, I almost mistake him for someone else because he was so filled with a smile that it was impossible for me to think he was the same man that came to my office the other day.

He confessed to me that after pondering on my question over and over again he came to the realization that he was supposed to be celebrating and not beating himself for seeing the true color of someone he had been living with for three years. “I didn’t know I was living with a snake all this while. Only God knows what she was doing at my back all those times.

In fact, going bankrupt was a blessing in disguise because if I didn’t go broke she would have stayed and maybe start having kids that are not mine. I thank God she left; I can now search for the love of my life."

One of the reasons many people find it hard to let go and move on after a traumatic break up is that they don’t do this one thing listed below:

. Take time in evaluating the situation The major reason adduced for beating up ourselves after a traumatic break up is that we don’t sit down to evaluate the situation.

What I simply did to help that man regain back his happy mood was to make him evaluate the situation. By evaluating it he was able to see the truth in it. And of course, the truth set him free.

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Love Quotes That Will Open Up Your Eyes

Category: LOVE ADVICE Published: Monday, 05 November 2018 Written by Life Coach Efosa Emovon

Quotes


 

Today, all we see is two love birds sitting on a wall, singing a beautiful song together and next minutes, singing a different song. The divorce rate is so alarming that one begins to wonder if the word “Marriage” would have a place in the dictionary in the nearest future.

A friend of mine asked me the other day, “Does true love still exist?” “Yes, love still exists and” “I mean true love,” he interrupted me. “There is only one love, and it is called true love, genuine love, real love and so forth. The one we practice today is lust [infatuation] not love.” I counseled.

Yes, we know how to define love so well; but applying the meaning in our marriage/relationship is the problem. We have successfully corrupted the word lust to love that is why we now misjudge love and accuse it of the immensurable that take over our heart after heartbreak. That is why we now believe there is a fake and real love.

Love is love; it is genuine and does not have a counterfeit. It is a principle and comes to those who believe in it. In fact, love has been defined as an intense feeling of deep affection or a strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone.

Do you believe in love? If yes, to grow in your love life, meditate on the love quotes below, by a firebrand motivational speaker and author Efosa Emovon.

 

1. "Don’t change! Because when you start to change he too imitates. If you lost that smile, the next thing to lose is her."

 

2. "To be faithful is easy when you are in the aims of someone you love."

 

3. "Before you forgive, ask your heart if it can take it one more time. The bitter truth is he/she is going to cheat on you again."

 

4. "If your marriage or relationship prevents you from exercising your talents, don’t think twice before walking out of it. Remember, in the end, it is your work history records. That is what you will be remembered for."

 

5. "Love is a fire. It can warm your heart and can consume it. Don’t forget to carry this truth to the altar."

 

6. "There is a way you smile that drives him/her crazy. Bookmark it if you want your relationship to last long."

 

7. "Beware of two things if you want your relationship to last. Your best friend and partner’s friends."

 

8. "These days, people easily mistake lust for love. It seems true love is lost."

 

9. "Think about seven things you do to your partner, and write down five reasons why you think he/she should not cheat on you or even leave you."

 

10. "The moment of truth! That your boo you call a fool has a boo."

 

11. "Sometimes when madness comes; it makes some to dance to no song, makes some laugh till dawn and makes some so hurt to wrong love."

 

12. "There is a light in you, that person in your life saw that made him/her choose you. If it goes off or dims a little, understand that he/she will turn back or follow another."

 

13. "Do you know that love has a voice it uses to bring lovers to order? When you are about to take off your clothes to cheat, it is this voice you hear. In fact, it shouts at you.

Love makes it impossible for us to do ugly things behind our partner’s back. To have a long lasting relationship, be with some you love, and who loves you; and this voice shall guide your love."

 

14. "The love that prevents you from doing that which you find pleasurable, is worst than hate."

 

15. "Don’t choose the one everyone likes, choose the one you know that will make you happy."

 

16. "Nothing kick-start a war than the end of love."

 

17. "Madness is dating more than one woman, and expecting them to be faithful to you. Just as you decide to share your love among them, they will share theirs with you and someone you will never get to see."

 


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How to Know a Relationship is About to Break Beyond Repair

Category: LOVE ADVICE Published: Thursday, 25 October 2018 Written by Life Coach Efosa Emovon

Love Advice


Is your relationship on the verge of collapse? If yes, then before you seek for a solution there is something you must know and do. No matter how long you have been in that relationship, know it is time to stand up and find out the kind of emotion that person in your life feels for you. The whole truth is people now mistake lust for love.

In fact, the word lust has been corrupted to what a lot of people now calls love nowadays. Little wonder the divorce rate is escalating at an alarming rate. According to the united nation [UN], the country with the highest divorce rate in the world is the Maldives with 10.97 divorces per 1.000 inhabitants per year. Belarus comes second with 4.63.

This is followed by the United States with 4.34. Cuba takes the 4th position with 3.72. Estonia comes 6th with 3.65. Puerto Rico and Panama are sharing the 7th position with 3.61 divorces per year. Ukraine is number 8 on the list with 3.56. This is followed by Russia with 3.42. If you don’t want to make the mistakes that lead to this kind of a thing, I urge you to read this article to the end.

It is tailored to open your eyes to the kind of emotion that person you intend getting married to feels for you, in order to know your position in his or her life and to know your next course of action. It is important to understand that lust [infatuation], unlike love, is like a prescript drug, it has an expiring date.

It is madness to keep expired drugs even the dumbest imbecile from the most remote village on earth knows this. If you notice that your lover’s attitude towards you have changed tremendously, before you do anything to save that relationship from collapse, you must first find out if the emotion he or she feels for you is lust {infatuation} or love.

If it is lust, there is no use trying to save the relationship because the emotion that person feels for you have expired. As I mentioned earlier, lust has an expiring date. Understand that giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go and move on. Sometimes the best thing to do in a relationship is to walk away.

There are relationships that are not meant to last. Trying to elongate the life span of such relationships is exposing your heart to fire. The only time you should consider taking a relationship to another level is if you are genuinely in love with a person and you are sure the person is also in love with you.

It is important to uncover the kind of emotion a person feels for you before taking a relationship to another level. Saying “I do” before realizing a person is not right for you is to your detriment because it will add the title divorcee to your profile.

Having kids before coming to this realization is no fair! Why you might ask. Simply because kids don’t just like the idea, of growing up with a single parent or being raised by a step-father or mother, in fact, it is very challenging for them. This is like making someone bear the consequence of your action.

The fact is when the braggadocio of this kind of love [lust] withered, next, reality dawns on that person you have given the whole of your heart to. At this point he/she will start asking the famous question “Am I with the right person?” Maybe your curves attracted him, now he has seen enough of it; maybe it was your money that attracted her, now she has her own money or has meant someone more loaded than you.

Maybe it was sexual desire, now he/she has satisfied that desire. Her eyes are now open to the ultimate truth and have come to the realization that you are not what she needs; you are not the right person for him. One of the reasons he/she chooses not to tell you with words but with deeds is that he wants you to read the signs and prepare before it finally hit the rocks.

If you are seeking for a solution instead of planning how to soft-land, in this case, you are just about to shot yourself on the foot. Doesyour lover still call you by your pet name? Do you still see what you mean to him anytime he looks into your eyes? Do you still see what you mean to her anytime she looks into your eyes? From the corner of your eyes do you still see him or her staring lustfully at you?

Does he still share his secrets with you? Does she still share her secrets with you? Does that man or woman in your life still refer to both of you as “we,” If no, I am sorry to inform you that the emotion that person feels for you have expired?

That is the reason that person you expect to love and cherish you more than anyone else now nags and hurls insults on you anytime you make a mistake.The fact is if the emotion someone feels for you is love, it is easy for that person to tolerate you because love grows in its capacity to endure.

When you love someone you are there to support that person, you work together to solve problems and wish nothing more than to watch and help this person grow. Love accepts both a person’s perfection and imperfections. But lust [infatuation] is only after perfection. One thing you must understand is that every relationship has a circle [trying times], but love makes it easy for people to come out of this love recession stronger together.

Lust makes it difficult for lovers to survive it. He has changed his attitude towards you because you no longer appear to him as someone he would like to spend the rest of his life with. She changed completely because to her you have lost the ability to make her soul dance. The whole truth is if you must blame anyone that person should you.

Yes, when you guys first meant you were so blinded with emotion that you forgot to take time to know this person. If you were patient enough before long, his attitude would have made it clear he or she is not the right person for you. Don’t believe everything you hear, there is no such thing as love at first sight.

Love develops gradually over time. In fact, it grows in its capacity to endure. It is lust [infatuation] that occurs almost instantaneously. How to differentiate between love and lost What attracted a person to you determines the kind of emotion the person feels for you.

If your beauty attracted him understands that the emotion he feels for you is nothing but lust. If it is your money, of course, the emotion is double lust. Before you get serious with a man that emphases more on your beauty than your qualities remember these two things:

. Beauty fades with time

. They are countless beauty queens out there

In fact, a great writer even titled one of his books The Beautiful Once Are Not Yet Born. And before you use your money to attract a lady, understand these two things:

. Love is not for sale, so money cannot buy it

. There are tens and thousands of people out there richer than you

Love is an intense feeling of deep affection. It is unconditional and doesn’t set a limit. Love is not just a person telling you “I love you” it reveals through his/her action. Love is when you care very strongly and always willing to share with another person.

It is when you respect a person’s opinion and understand his or her every mood. It is the ability to admit you are wrong when you make a mistake and quick to apologize. It is the ability of a person to connect with you through his/her eyes.

If that person in your life right now doesn’t fit this description, you don’t need a prophet to tell you he or she is not the right person for you.



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LOVE

Category: LOVE ADVICE Published: Sunday, 28 October 2018 Written by Life Coach Efosa Emovon

Love Advice


 

2 Questions You Must Ask Yourself if

You Want to Succeed in Your Love Life

 

After one of my seminars, I was in no mood to exchange pleasantries or talk with anyone I was so exhausted and needed some rest. As I mounted my car and about to trod on the starter, someone called me by my name.

I turned sharply and I saw behind two old couples, a rather middle age woman I would say about 41 years of age advancing towards me. I cannot put the worried expression on her face in much better language.

In fact, her countenance revealed to me she had a problem that needed an immediate solution. I wondered what was biting her. I didn’t like what I was seeing, so I had no choice but to compromise on my resolve. I promised myself to do the best I can to put back smile on that face. After all, it is what I am called upon to do.

As she walked up to me, I noticed she was very blonde. She was such a beauty her unkempt hair notwithstanding. “How can I help you,” I asked. She trained her piercing blue eyes on me and with a calm and emotional voice said,” read more...

 

8 Ways to Prevent Cheating in Your

Marriage/relationship

 

According to a Wiseman, “You cannot stop birds from flying over your head but you sure can stop them from building a nest there. “ Huh, what a powerful phrase. It is true that you cannot stop your partner to go out to visit friends, to go to parties, to have bosses in the office, but you sure can stop him or her from doing something funny at your back.

Yes, you can stop that person in your life from cheating on you. Read more...

 

How to Know a Relationship is About

to Break Beyond Repair

 

Is your relationship at the verge of collapse? If yes, then before you seek for a solution there is something you must know and do. No matter how long you have been in that relationship, know it is time to Read More...

 

 Not long ago, a young man who invested all he had in a business venture went bankrupt and was faced with hardship. The thought of suicide dominated his mind when his wife of three years left him for a friend of his who just bought a supercar.

When some of his good neighbors found out he was contemplating placing a rope on his neck to end it all, they advised him to seek for help. In short, the day he came to my office for counseling, I saw a man who had lost all his reasons to live.

It was glaring there was nothing standing between him and the rope on the ceiling. I hate to see people in such a mood so I resolved to know what was biting him. Read more...

 

 


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8 Ways to Prevent Cheating in Your Marriage/relationship

Category: LOVE ADVICE Published: Thursday, 25 October 2018 Written by Life Coach Efosa Emovon

Love Advice


According to a Wiseman, “You cannot stop birds from flying over your head but you sure can stop them from building a nest there. “ Huh, what a powerful sentence.

It is true that you cannot stop your partner to go out to visit friends, to go to parties, to have bosses in the office, but you sure can stop him or her from doing something funny at your back.

Yes, you can stop that person in your life from cheating on you. You must understand that no one enters into a relationship with the aim of cheating. There are reasons people do it and the reasons they don’t.

If you can understand this simple A B C, you are on your way to building a long-lasting marriage/relationship. Remember, you can only stop water from flowing when you first uncover its source.

There are principles nature applies, that keep the moon, sun, and stars on a steady course. That is why day and night does not skip their turn. If you want your partner to be completely yours, to know what causes infidelity in a marriage or cheating in a relationship is no longer an option but a must.

There are instructions to follow, principles to apply to stop that person in your life from making such mistakes. Below are the 8 things you must know and do to have a cheat free marriage/relationship.

1. Don’t create room for suspicion

This mistake is very costly in a relationship. In fact, there is no better way to expose your marriage/relationship to danger than to do this. Remember, nobody likes to be called a fool, even a fool hate like death to be called this deregulatory word.

If you want your partner to be all yours, it should not be too difficult for you to understand that you are creating room for suspicion anytime you make a distance phone call, hide your phone, keep questionable company, tell lies, go to questionable place and come home at odd hours. By so doing, you are sending the wrong signal.

In fact, you are indirectly telling your partner that you are doing something behind his or her back. Since no one wants to be called a fool, he/she will go to any length to prove that you are not correct.

This is one of the reasons many people cheat and why some secretly date their partner’s best friend.

They do it simply to make a statement If you want your partner to be faithful and honest to you, try not to act like you are hiding something.

The fact is if your actions reveal you are hiding something, he or she too will look for something to hide in order not to be called a fool.

2. Appreciate your partner

I want to let you understand that a relationship is a place where everything you do speaks, where every of your action says something.

If you are the type that hardly says something nice to your partner, you are saying in a clear tune that he or she is not good enough for you.

American renowned writer and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly that I can’t hear what you are saying.”

since a lie repeatedly told over a period of time start sounding like the truth before long, she will start looking for someone who will consider her good enough.

Someone who will see what you fail to see in her. Someone who will tell her she is pretty her weight notwithstanding, he is handsome his protruded stomach notwithstanding.

The day he/she comes across that person, nothing in the whole of the universe not even your money, can stop that man or woman in your life from doing it.

If your partner wears a new shoe or put on new clothes, be the first to compliment her. Tell her how wonderful she looks on it, how awesome he looks on it.

Don’t let other people do this before you. In fact, telling her she smiles like Taylor swift, he walks like Tom Cruise once a while won’t cost you anything. You don’t pay to do this.

If you want your partner not to do something funny behind your back, you must give him or her reasons not to. In fact, you must prove it over and over again that you deserve his or her love.

Once in a while let your partner know how grateful you are to have someone as wonderful as him in your life, someone as awesome as her in your life.

Emphasize more on his or her good quality. By so doing you are telling your partner that you are the right person for him. In fact, you are proving you deserve her love.

So long as you are not dating a madman or woman, he or she will definitely reciprocate the gesture by treating you with great respect.

3. Once in a while create a distance

Please don’t overdo number three because it can have a negative effect. Yes, sometimes don’t send those lovely texts message you send while at work. When he or she calls you on the phone don’t pick it, act like the last thing on your mind is him or her.

Let him miss your voice; Let her miss your sweet words.

This is one of the greatest secrets to stirring up your partner’s love for you. It will be difficult if not impossible for your partner to cheat on you when you are smart enough to make him or she realizes once a while how much you mean in his or her world.

Remember, boring someone with your presence has a negative effect. Try to do this once in every three months.

4. Don’t let your quarrels drag on for too long

If you want that person in your life to be all yours, you must learn to say, “Honey, I am sorry,” when you are wrong . Find a polite way to make him realize he owns you an apology when he is wrong, she owes you an apology when she is wrong. This is the panacea for building a long-lasting relationship.

There is nothing wrong in getting mad at your partner when he or she makes a mistake. What everything is wrong with is forgetting he/she is a human being with emotions and feelings and not a piece of furniture in that madness.

By dragging your quarrels to weeks and months you are pushing your partner to the arms of another person.

Don’t let it drag on for too because you may not meet the same person you left. Also, try to avoid frequent quarrels because this is a sign that a relationship is unhealthy and heading for the rocks.

If your partner notices that the relationship is close to hitting the rocks, he or she will start to prepare in order to have a safe landing when it eventually crashes.

5. Deal with the feeling of insecurity

Feeling insecure can sabotage a relationship within the shortest time. It can install the feeling of inadequacy and jealousy on your mind faster than you thought possible.

These feelings will make you question every step your partner takes, make you read meaning to everything he or she says or does. In fact, you will find yourself infringing on your partner’s freedom by monitoring his/her movement and wrongly accusing him/her.

Remember, when someone accuses you of doing something you are not doing, he is inciting you to do it. Many people start cheating on their partner because they got tired of denying what they know nothing about.

If you want to have your partner all to yourself, you must deal with the feeling of insecurity, because it can make you do things that will incite your partner to cheat on you.

One of the best ways to deal with insecurity is to forgive those who betrayed your love in the past. If you forgive you can stop using their mistakes to judge others.

6. Understand that communication is key

Never make the mistake to use what your partner told you to judge, mock or insult him or her. If you do that, you have just cut down the communication wire between you and him.

The truth is she has so many things to tell you. In fact, she would like to tell you how a guy told her on the way she got the best pair of legs, who her boss said she looks like.

Believe me; he can’t wait to get home to tell you how your best friend called him on the phone to say hi. Remember, your love and constant advice is one thing that will keep him/her from going astray.

The whole truth is when the communication between you and your partner is poor infidelity and cheating is inevitable.

7. Make your presence felt

Cuddling and kissing her passionately before leaving for work is one secret that will glue her heart to you. Reminding her how much you love her is the assurance she needs to keep riding with you, the assurance he needs to stick with you.

8. Give your morals work to do

While in bed Make passionate love to your partner and don’t be afraid to experiment with new tactics on the bed.

There is no better way to push your partner into the arms of another person by being strict on the bed. Remember, your matrimonial bed is not a place to preach or install discipline.

THANKS FOR GIVING ME YOUR TIME!



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 How to Know a Relationship is About

to Break Beyond Repair

Is your relationship on the verge of collapse? If yes, then before you seek for a solution there is something you must know and do. No matter how long you have been in that relationship, know it is time to stand up and find out the kind of emotion that person in your life feels for you.

The whole truth is people now mistake lust for love. In fact, the word lust has been corrupted to what a lot of people now calls love nowadays. Little wonder the divorce rate is escalating at an alarming rate.

According to the united nation [UN], the country with the highest divorce rate in the world is the Maldives with 10.97 divorces per 1.000 inhabitants per year.

Belarus comes second with 4.63. This is followed by the United States with 4.34. Cuba takes the 4th position with 3.72. Estonia comes 6th with 3.65. Puerto Rico and Panama are sharing the 7th position with 3.61 divorces per year. Ukraine is number 8 on the list with 3.56.

This is followed by Russia with 3.42. If you don’t want to make the mistakes that lead to this kind of a thing, I urge you to read this article to the end.

How to Forget Negative Events And

Move On With Your Life

 According to a great mind, “Life is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday; it will definitely destroy your wonderful today and ruin your great tomorrow.” In fact, this word of wisdom deserves an award.

The simple fact is when you spend your wonderful today reflecting on your horrible yesterday, your horrible yesterday becomes your wonderful today. How do you expect to see the door that is opening when you focus on past failures?

You want to get to the top yet you keep thinking of your last fall, don’t you know it possesses the ability to weigh you down?

Yes, as humans we can’t help remembering how we lost our perfect health to that illness or accident, we can’t help to remember how our dear heart was broken by someone we hold dearly.

I know it is difficult to forget how we lost our high paying job, with our hopes and dreams shattered. But we do have a choice.

The Key to Supernatural Favor

Many years ago, a man named Luscious Marcus was accused wrongly of treason tried and sentenced to death. He was overwhelmed by despair and before long, became a shadow of himself.

Renown Italian writer Machiavelli the Don cannot be more right when he said, “To anticipate death is worse than death itself." The night before he was to be executed, he burst into tears and would not be consoled.

An old prison guard was touched and decided to placate him by replacing his despair with hope, and his frustration with self-assurance. “Why are you crying,” the old guard asked. He responded with look of incredulity.

In short, he doubted the guard’s sanity. The prison guard smiled and repeated the question. By this time there was an unfriendly look on his face.

....

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